Whether you’re a sexual enthusiast or you’re curious about the butt stuff, anal sex is an exciting, fulfilling way to experience intimate play. But it can also be a bit intimidating. So here are some things and tips on how to prepare for anal sex to keep in mind to help you feel comfortable and confident before getting started.
1. Lubricate Your Anus Before Anal Intercourse
The anus doesn’t create its own lubricant, which can lead to painful anal injuries, so be sure you’ve got a good supply of water-based or silicone lube on hand before any penetration happens. Choose a lube that’s soothing and made with natural ingredients, such as aloe vera, vitamin E, hibiscus extract, or sunflower seed oil. It should also clean up easily.
2. Foreplay With Your Partner
Before you try anal sex, practice a little touch-and-feel with your partner to get accustomed to the sensations and the pressure. This will also help you both understand what you want from your play and make sure it’s compatible for each other.
3. Take a Break If Something Hurts
The goal of anal sex is to feel completely relaxed and at ease, so don’t go for it if you’re in pain or discomfort. This could lead to rectal tearing and bleeding, and it’s not worth risking it, advises Cassandra Corrado, a US-based sex educator who curates the @FeministSexEd Instagram community.
4. Warm Up Before Anal Sex
The anus is very sensitive, so warming up before attempting penile-anal penetration is important to prevent sphincter clenching and discomfort. You can do this by gently massaging the anus or by rubbing the tip of your cock over the anus opening.
5. Penetrate from a Position You’re Comfortable With
If this is your first time having anal sex, you may want to try a more intimate position. Maybe on the top, suggests Lee Phillips, LCSW, CST, EdD, psychotherapist and certified sex and couples therapist at Health. You’ll have more control over the depth and force of penetration, which can feel really satisfying for some people.
6. Use a Sex Toy that’s Safe for Anal Play
There are plenty of toys on the market designed specifically for anal penetration, including anal beads, vibrators, and butt plugs. They’re available in both clitoral and penetrative designs. So, you can find one that feels right for you and your partner.
7. Be Prepared for Poop
As with all sex, it’s a good idea to get rid of any microscopic fecal matter before you start. But it’s especially important for anal sex. Because your rectum is designed to trap any fecal matter until you’re ready for a bowel movement.
Having a plan for clean-up before and after anal sex is helpful, too. It can reduce the chance of accidents and ensure everything is clean after your session, says Phillips.
It can be easy to feel intimidated by the possibilities of anal sex, but it’s actually quite safe when done correctly. As long as you follow the basic guidelines above, you will be prepare for anal sex and it should be a fun and pleasurable experience for both of you.